Four Places I’d Love to Visit:

1. Right now I really really wish I was in Manhattan Beach visiting my cousin Jenny, she’s due to give birth in early September. I’m sad to miss out on yet another opportunity to both be pregnant and barefoot in her kitchen. I’m sure her husband Jeff is bummed about it too.

2. I would love to visit myself circa 2003-4. I’d like to tell myself to really REALLY enjoy all my free time. Because I don’t think I properly understood how lucky I was to have the time to finish a book in one sitting, or see a movie in a theater, or even watch a movie without having to pause it five hundred times to see if that really was the baby crying or an annoying sound effect.

3. I’d love to visit the city of Chicago. I’ve heard it is pretty fine & dandy there. Plus, this one purdy lady lives there, and I miss her like crazy, all Natalie Cole style.

4. I’d love to visit a magical land where there is no such thing as nausea and you can eat all the garlic & onion potato chips you desire.

Four Things I Covet:

1. Central Air Conditioning

2. Non-leaky Roofs

3. Solid, level foundations

4. Mint Condition Mid-Century Furniture

4 Goals I Have:

1. To make it through the next five minutes.

2. To make it through today.

3. To make it through the next three weeks.

4. To make it through the next seven months.

4 Fads I Wish Would Pass:

1. I really am not a fan of marble countertops and travertine tiles. I don’t get why this is in vogue.

2. The current fad of making regular toys and then pink versions of them and labeling it “for girls.”

3. Hairless dudes. Bring back the chest hair and LOTS of it, kthx.

4. I really wish that young women and men had super intelligent, bright, brilliant, and put together role models in entertainment and political positions.

4 Delights:

1. Right now I am SO into string cheese. It is the only thing that seems palatable in anyway.

2. Sadie in every way, but especially when she puts her arms up wide and gives me big squeezes.

3. Flight of the Conchords

4. Lemonade flavored popsicles

4 Regrets:

1. All the times I have not been as sweet as possible.

2. The times I let fear rule my decision making.

3. All the times I ruined my parents bathrooms by getting hair dye all over.

4. Sometimes when we lived in our apartment, I would hide before Brett got home from work. Then I’d jump out and scare him when he got home. I think I might have broke him or something, because he is super skittish now.

4 Things I Wish I Could Do More Often:

1. Go on a date with my sweetheart.

2. Go on a date with my ladies.

3. Be present in my everyday life.

4. Walk around without feeling carsick all the GODDAMN time. I keep forgetting about the knocked-up-edness and I start to wonder why I feel so awful.

4 Things That I Never Would Have Imagined Would Happen to Me:

1. I never imagined I would utter the words, “I don’t care if it helps you to sleep, you can not under any circumstances shove your leg down my underwear and rub your foot up and down my buttcrack.”

2. I DID imagine that I would find a sweet group of lady friends, but I still can’t believe that it has happened!

3. I never imagined that I would have my own company.

4. I think when I was young I imagined a very different professional life for myself, I like reality much much more.